It’s really early. It’s early enough to still be considered late. Making coffee now because I know I won’t be going back to sleep for quite some time. That’s the perfectly normal thing right about now. I have never slept well, due to a large part that I never liked to do that. My schedule has little power naps and as I type this on the tablet Cece is sleeping. I give full points to a girlfriend who sticks by her creative man. We’re the most difficult breed there is if we’re good and likely worse if were not.
In now less than two weeks I voyage out into the waters that I have always wanted to sail. Thanks to a mixture of my work with Cookeilidh, my work with Cheri Jacobs and our partnership with Less Bland Productions I have made the leap to being a writer and musician full time. I do feel ready for these waters but naturally it is a place that I sort of half thought I wouldn’t be sailing. The choice to make the leap is one that does scare me since it’s not as though I have made it in the conventional sense. The work I do is exhilarating in both fields (two sides of my expression that have always been there relentlessly since I could make baby noises most likely) but the work is still very much in the day to day grind of a local craftsman. That is something that doesn’t bother me that much. If you want superstardom you don’t really pick the fields of bass player and screenwriter. I’ve certainly stepped out of those less lit parts of the stage to do things like acting (in little bits with Cheri on the Tom and Cheri Show) and singing (open stages and backup for Cookeilidh) but with those the need to do that came from the fact that there is this material and its simpler just to do it. I swear its not false modesty. I have, when a singer has been I’ll in the past, tried to fake that role for the evening. Didn’t like it. Much more relaxed to stand on my side of the stage and focus on making the best work I can. Its similar to writing. I want your imagination or the actors to take my ideas and make them soar. I far prefer to get up early, make coffee and get an idea that makes my toes wiggle in the carpet.
But I won’t say that the ides of venturing out into doing this full time isn’t scary too. Part of me does feel like “who do I think I am?”. I have routines down so I am always busy, which can include blogging at 4:30 a.m.
Still less than two weeks to go before I officially sail. With all the making preperations for the journey I still wonder how I’ll feel when the anchor rises.