My morning pages aren’t neat

Ok here we go. Well, yeah…it’s supposed to be stream of consciousness writing and this is a little different as it’s like stream of consciousness texting which might be a bit unfair as I have predictive text happening for me too. I don’t know. I’m listening to Harold Budd as it was available and I was trying to get going immediately since that’s the idea behind these in the first place. You’re not supposed to do anything else first…ok I looked for the image too..but that’s why the title happened. Every morning page looks like the person has their writing set up so neatly that they have a desk devoted just to morning pages. I’m sorry but not only is that bs but also shouldn’t it be more like you wake up and go…while in bed still. You’re supposed to be half asleep or something…like the magic of the whole thing blah blah…I had a sip of old Ice drink. Should be ok it’s still carbonated. I worry about everything going badly with food. Maybe that’s why I went grey early and balding. I’ve stressed about food safe since a poptart did it. Anyways let’s not go there. It’s just…no. eyes are still blurry…hard part about smartphone morning pages is you have to sort of do it by time…nothing is telling me right now how much into 3 pages I am. Oh, and you’re supposed to have them private. Oops. I’m not too worried. Anyways I’m just writing and not really about what I write that much. What’s hilarious is that this is a longer day and I woke up an hour and a half earlier. Yay. Had the pretzles line from Seinfeld which I was going to use as the first title…I don’t know what…maybe because I was going to get a drink. I like the morning page versus meditation question. I keep meaning to do meditation these days but never get the time or whatever to do that. Ok what now. I don’t know. Dylan Moran style there. I’m supposed to just to keep typing like it’s a run on sentence or a talktive person. I think beer. Where is that from. Then TwaDogs. They are a distillery that we the band are connected to. I like some of there craft beer but never been a whisky person. My mouth just cringes if a mouth can before I drink that stuff. Ok. I think I’m going to stop now.

Kind of short on reflection.

Want to find more stuff by the poet Red Lane. Just discovered him recently, as well as Mary Oliver.

I mentioned Harold Budd whose music is perfect for any writing and also he worked with the Cocteau Twins.

Harold Budd – The Pearl

Cheers,

Tom

🙂

Morning Page

Books piled next to my coffee and water that I want to get through. It must be a thing to do with our age, because I do remember a lady complaining that her husband used to grab books from the library and never read them. I get some like that. I like to have that option. It is hard to see this as a pure morning page because well a it’s on here of course, but also the rule is that you are supposed to do nothing else before you get going. Frankly not even the coffee. It is sort of fair as I don’t smoke anymore so nothing is dragging me outside. Listening to my study mix which is basically low Roar and Harold Budd. Need more music. Always looking for that. Used to be Cocteau Twins all the time. Enya is the queen of fantasy writing. But yeah already saw Twitter and groaned when I saw the new addition of new shootings. Twitter is my newspaper because it is wide open and both sides can speak. It’s just depressing how everyone is used to shootings and it’s like everyone knows how to reach afterwards like it’s the same old thing. This was at 8 am. It’s that time now here. I can only guess this angry kid didn’t want to wait all day but that’s ridiculous. I know I shouldn’t think about this. I don’t have kids but I remember being a kid in Stellys High in 1992 and back. I remember being in home room as the sun crept over the farm field nearby and my desk. I remember the problems too. It wasn’t easy for me as well, and I mean I was a really picked on one. Now we know that that isn’t why always but some stuff can be but I just think of that horror crossing that memory and I can’t believe everyone should accept it as just a part of reality.

Got to change that subject. That’s another old guy thing. I think we make some sense. We’ve learned a thing or two and want to help inact change, even if it’s just some influence of someone hearing it once. We want to make a difference before our time is up to. That’s all midlife really is. Your mortality is suddenly staring at you so you live it up. That must be me now or close or whatever. I didn’t have a blog post idea this morning so that’s why frankly I just went for the morning page idea but one I have is for exercise and weight loss. I don’t have a specific diet that I can unload but I have learned a bunch of things as I lost about that 40 lbs in two years. So it’s not like super fast but it’s sort of overall health. I’m not rich. I just got paid and only about 60 of that is actually mine. I do believe that income dictates health. When you’re poor you eat to keep going or feel not hungry. It makes me throw my hands up you know. In a love-relationship you make yourself happy by knowing the other person is happy, or that’s how it should work. Imagine if we applied that idea to everyone around the world. Imagine if we were all about how can we make sure that everyone is doing ok and has enough. When you go this way people act like it’s hippyish but Freddie Mercury said that in Heaven for Everyone and it’s to me less about just being “nice” then it is actually good business. If everyone is well fed, well clothed and can calmly make informed choices then it’s good for everyone. I abhor the stuff about how War is good for science. We would get there eventually and we wouldn’t have things like…oh I don’t know…Hiroshima or the underground secret weapon of the Somme that the British used only once on the Germans as described by Tony Robinson in Time Team. That latter and less known weapon was so horrible that the Englishmen had tears when they saw it used as they didn’t want that. Aww crap how do I get off this one lol

Had a dream when I woke up. They always seem about water. Had so many about almost going the brink of waterfalls that I wrote the song Precipice. So many like this are still in mind long after I wake up and then I’m trying to think how I would have handled them differently. Like with Niagara I was like “Ok, where is the point of no return, just so I know.”. Now I live on Vancouver Island so my chance of the tragedy of being swept over Horseshoe Falls today is pretty low. There’s angel Falls too but from what I’ve seen you would have really to put in the effort for that to happen. Wish I wasn’t afraid of heights because wouldn’t it be great to hangglide in a place like Angel Falls or somewhere like that. Or fly an ultralight. Or Zipline lol.

Should start practice now before all the heady excitement of banking.

Cheers

Tom

Morning Page 1

Now, that would be amazing if that was the truth. Ok, maybe not as amazing as some things but living where I do if you have that as the view from your window you are doing pretty well indeed. I took that back when I was making music video ideas and then just ended up playing on the beach. Got to say, this is being done on my landscape phone keyboard and its a little slow like wading through thick soup. Trying to do this the same way as a morning page where you don’t let the so called pen stop moving but I have to stop now and then to let this ridiculous phone accept that I just hit the a in accept. Hot stuff..oh yes and if you are rolling your eyes now just go because this is a morning page, it is just drinking coffee and doing this and it won’t probably get more mind-blowing, unless I’m presently unaware of something. The fan is as usual cooling one side of me. I’m just sitting in bed in grey underwear. I’m not a nudist yet but I am a little like that when everyone’s gone, certainly when it’s hot out. I hate hot weather and on holiday would far rather go north than south. I generally done like my jeans/whatever constitutes jeans as they always have a wallet, belt and more on or around them and as such it’s about as relaxed and comfortable as wearing armor. I do have one silly picture with a “wife beater” (that second word was actually predicted… brilliant). Listening to Low Roar which kind of a thing. It’s like a Tom morning crash course here. Ok…some bits best not said will be left out, but essentially everything vies for the pole position of this 44 year olds “when you first get up”. Coffee first. Don’t freak out, judge or get triggered. It works and tastes good. I pregrind it and keep it as airtight as possible which is not ideal but I don’t want to wake Cece up if she is still sleeping. It’s then coffee, light breakfast and social media until, well usually 8 but I slept in after yesterday being a sleepless mess…anyways after that will be the music which starts with either the bass and headphones or the keyboard down really low. One really cool trick I did a couple years back was I’d have music going from one device and on another I’d have on mute a “flying over Switzerland” video. Just kind of a nice little thing to have humming along next to you while you work. After about 3 hours of practice my goal is either the gym or some other thing. I’m not going any further as that is silly and I didn’t mean to underline just then. There’s no word count on this thing. Morning Pages are supposed to be about 3 pages which for me takes longer than it actually should at about 20-30 min. I know. I blurry eyes. Arm is still sore. Just found out yesterday I have vitamin B12 lack…like a lot and need to get both medicine and shots for that which is what might be causing lots of my health problems. It’s those problems that are the reason for most of the morning schedule but anyways that’s my thing today to get on that. I might wrap this now. I’m technically an hour behind and the moment.

Ok predictive text wants to go..

I mean I don’t know if you have any questions please feel free to contact me at any time and I will be there is usually a good day to come in and talk to you soon and have a great day and I..

None of that was real..middle button. Mine’s annoying. It’s like I work for a motor vehicle license place. It’s like I’m Susan Sarandon in the movie. That would be fine, she’s great.

Want to watch stuff on John Cage. He was harsh previously on the avante gaurd (yes it’s spelled wrong..ugh) musician who died when they both were younger (Hard to explain that…and it’s me hitting predictive text middle that hits the underline… surprised I don’t hit the link button)

Anyways let’s do just that.

If you read all of this I’m impressed. Or scared. Or bemused.

Whatever bemused means 😀

Later y’all

I never say that. With me it’s, yeah yeah..

Cheers!

Tom