If you think you’re an incel, or have thought about that, a word…

I know the frustration of not seemingly being able to find someone.

I completely related to “Somebody to Love” “Someguys have All the Luck” and the even more harsh “Lonesome Loser” all the way until the age of 24.

Somehow it did just happen. Was it extraordinary? Sorry but not really (unlikely that the person will read this…possible, but unlikely. Not entirely her fault. With all the excitement I lasted…well, longer than I was told a first timer lasts, but hardly by much).

Since then it happened with more people than I actually wish. Every single relationship has had the words “I wish you were my first.” at some point.

I was nerd. Still am. But I can promise you there is no conspiracy against you. Your best shot is to leave this crap (not sex but this incel nonsense) alone and just live your life. Obviously a significant other isn’t just going to knock randomly on your door or grab you off the street so get out there and get active in your community. Not just to connect, but to connect with other people in real life.

Ok, its old school, but so is sex. Sex is a physical thing. Love is effort in real time. You can not download it. So get out there and connect with your world as this will put you in the position where you can make that connection too.

If anything that’s the problem. I certainly made connections through things like Plenty of Fish, but that wasn’t all I did. It was another thing that reached out beyond my immediate circle. Being active in your circle and not just lingering online and sending dick pics (this rarely works, it usually kills your shot stone dead, as pof girls repeatedly told me) makes you seem more a viable and safe choice.

With all the challenges women face they want to make sure you’re fun and everything but not a risk factor before giving you that all important shot.

Like I said, my first was at 24 and i didn’t even know if that was going to happen. I was teased mercilessly before it did. But still, I got there eventually and not because they changed.

If anything it’s because I did.

Cheers,

Tom